Why is your child keeping secrets from you?

Some doors don’t need keys to open instead a gentle turn of handle might unlock them easily…

Just like the grown-ups, children too have a regular habit of keeping secrets from the world. Something they preserve deep inside their heart, something they have full control of and are not ready to share with anyone. And like the law of nature, we being a parent are magnetically attracted to the mystery surrounding our child.

But did we ever thought, instead of what the secret is we should question, why is a secret being kept from us?

Come let’s explore some interesting facts on why exactly are the children bound to keep secrets from their parents-

• Generation Gap

One obvious reason for the barrier between the kids & their parents is the generation gap which sticks through the entire life. Kids, when explore people amongst the same age group, realize the difference in thinking of their parents as compared to their friends. With parents, they always carry a fear of being judged for anything they share but there are no such possibilities in other scenarios. A child speaks more freely when he spends time with his friend because he knows there is a similarity of interest & likings but in case of conversation with parents, a child holds his free heart behind & doesn’t entirely express his thoughts. So, to remove all barriers, we as parents, first of all, need to drop this parent tag & switch to friendship with our kids so that we can gain their trust & confidence.

• No more Peer-Pressure

In today’s competitive world, we always want the best results from our child, irrespective of identifying what his true potential is. The child is always surrounded with a burden of being no. 1. This, push away the child & also create both physical as well as emotional stress. Whenever we confront the kid, he pre-assumes the conversation to be scary & threatening. We definitely are doing it the wrong way & need to bring changes in ourselves instead of trying to shape our children in something they have no interest in. We need to comfort the kids in every decision they make for themselves, we need to support them in failures, we need to guide them to victories. One simple way of guarantying success for your kid is to let him follow his passion & shine bright like a star in his life.

• Make them feel Responsible instead of being just a Kid

Another important aspect surrounding our children is the sense of freedom they have in their life. A normal human tends to make wrong decisions when he is kept locked in a cage as compared with a free man who has the freedom to take and make his own choices. The more we try to lock in our kids, the more are we pushing them to make an unnecessary choice he is not sure about. We need to let them handle the situation on their own, the challenges they face will make them stronger than ever. The freedom won’t guarantee that all decisions made would be perfect but if the decisions are made independently, they would learn to take responsibilities of their failures. This simple step would strengthen our kids for their entire life & they won’t be scared to jump into difficulties throughout their life.

• Be Friends

We need to change our perspective of how we see our kids & their secrets. To gain their trust we need to share with them our little-kept secrets. Like every other process in this world, even this action will have a reaction to it. Once we establish a relationship of give & take with our child, he won’t hesitate to share anything. From the smallest of the mistake to some really dark failures, we would be a part of them all. We just need to bring our children close & make them feel comfortable without any barrier holding them back. We need to stop being manipulative to extract the preserved thoughts of our children instead, we just need to simplify our bond with them to a level where they automatically search a helpful companion inside you.

Some doors don’t need keys to open them instead a gentle turn of handle might unlock them easily.

Similar is the case with our children, we keep searching for a key to open & step in their world but what we really need is to earn their trust & they would make everything transparent with us. We need to break every wall which shadows the happiness of our children and we need to guide them to light in their dark times. To know our children truly, we need to showcase ourselves in front of them.

The world would be a better place when there would be no more formalities of being a parent or being a child, we are all humans and we need to love & protect each other.

Article Credits: Vikas Pandey | Noida | India

Editor: LivePeppy

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