After many months of ceaseless persuasions, calls, text messages, and endless visits, she had finally made her decision. To her, it was a great one, but to me, it was as lethal as a bomb. I stood in front of her without uttering a word. The speed of the poundings of my heart was faster than the revolutions of a car at top speed. I had dreaded this day for close to six months now.
Here it was: A Reality
Jane looked at me and without mincing words told me ‘’this cannot work between us, we just have to go our separate ways or better still remain as platonic friends’’.
Gush, those words couldn’t have done worse than a missile. I was totally shocked even though I envisaged something like that but I never knew it would be this devastating. I walked home that night feeling like a business-man who just lost a multibillion-dollar contract to his arch rival.
How do I move on? Is there any hope for me again?
Many questions, few answers. Dinner was out of the question for me that night, all I wanted was to sleep and wake up to the reality that everything that happened was just a dream.
The next day came so quickly, my eyes were swollen from lack of adequate sleep.
A brief recap of what had transpired over time:
I was a young man in my late twenties having a crush on a lady a year younger than I was. I had made my mind known to her but Jane had reasons to turn it down. I kept on pushing but she was adamant. Her reasons were that we were from “different ethnic groups” and her family will object to this union with the wave of a hand. She wasn’t ready to push further. So on this particular day, I wanted us to talk it out!
I decided to move on after realizing we can’t be what I envisaged. A week became two, two became three and the months rolled by. I was still trying to fully understand and accept the reality.
One question kept popping up in my head, why should the issue of tribe be a hindrance to true love?
For some days after that scenario, I had great disdain for tribal issues, the reason not far-fetched.
Exactly three months after Jane turned down my request, I met this Model looking young beauty. Her name was Maria. Gush, she no doubt was a paragon of beauty, to be sincere she was more ravishing than Jane (no bad feelings to Jane for refusing my proposal). We became friends almost instantly and the relationship was very visible to everyone. Maria was also from a different tribe but it seemed her people & family had a different mindset when compared to Jane’s family.
Maria was a good girl. She was always ready to please me at least at the beginning. In fact, she could starve just for me to eat (yeah she was that good). Gradually, I was forgetting about Jane.
Need I to say that Jane, Maria and I belonged to the same social youth group where I was the leader and Jane, my assistant. Because of this, my new relationship with Maria couldn’t be hidden from Jane who without any cogent reason had this disdain for Maria. I understood her plight. I tried all I could, to make sure I avoided any rancor between both of them to save myself and the group any shame.
Change in Jane’s behavior:
All of a sudden, Jane became very accommodating and nice to me. She started seeking my welfare, called more often and even cooked for me, and still, the bulk of my personality was drawn to Maria. Whenever Jane saw me around Maria, she would frown and even make gestures to show her disapproval. But hey, I was enjoying every moment with Maria. Maria listened more than Jane and argued less than Jane. (this analysis is genuine, although Jane was more matured than Maria, Jane was four years older than Maria).
I tried balancing things up to avoid conflict. It was then I knew women can be very difficult and strange to handle. They never want to share their man or even their crush. A day came and I sat down thinking on how to handle the issue. I was caught between two strings of love. Finding a solution was difficult. The next day, Jane got on my nerves. She accused me of being a womanizer, although I know I was not one, I was furious at her.
A thought came to me to seize the opportunity to distance myself from her, but I couldn’t maybe because I still had feelings for her or maybe because she was my assistant at the social group. Now I needed very deep thoughts, deeper than an ocean. Jane, Maria who do i go for? Jane later came apologizing for her misbehavior and even confessed she did all that out of jealousy. The strangest part of it is that she now believes she can talk to her family people into allowing her to end up with a man from another tribe.
Why did it take her so long to get that done?
For Maria, she is hell bent on making sure if anyone will take me away from her. I was now like a rope being pulled in a tug of war exercise. It is noteworthy to say that after Jane used those derogatory words on me, the feeling I had for her gradually dwindled without me forcing it out.
Hey, don’t cast stones at me, am not a Casanova and I will never be one.
On an outing one day, I watched both of them struggle to communicate with one another. For every single move, I made, each one of them read meanings to it. You know what, am tired, fed up and confused. I think I should just order both of them out of my life. They both were making my life unbearable, how did I get myself into this mess?
Deep thoughts, deeper than ocean crept into my brain.
At last, I approached Jane and reminded her of her last statements which she remembered. I told her the reasons why this can’t work. She agreed and apologized for behaving nastily. She also added that she saw clearly that the feelings I had for her had been lost. We both agreed to let go of any thought and feelings we have for one another. I heaved a sigh of relief as I walked home that night, Jane settled, Maria is next, how do I handle her issue, do I settle it like Jane or go on with her? I was waiting for dawn to settle that.
Whenever it is within your power to do and undo, never misbehave, because tides do change and when they change, you might need to revisit what you had left behind!
Article Credits: Adegbamigbe Adewumi | Ile-ife | Nigeria